Well, since Kenny said that i didn't update my blog for sometime, so i shall update something ya? for the past few days ;D. Well, i think it doesn't matter too? As i said in few previous post, i said i would update some happy moment here, but it doesn't seem to have any happy moment. Well, guess its difficult to let me recover from this shocking incident, practically i have been crying this few days or i shall say for this 10days nothing was able to stop my precious tears from flowing out. What can i do? Almost 2 weeks alr. Lets not talk about concentrating in studies, even enjoying, like shopping, went to find chef, went out with govinda, brothers or who ever hell had gone out with me i didn't have the mood. I smiled, but to me it so forceful, at that moment i wish i could frown, but i cant, brothers were all with me. I can't make the environment become tense. I just wish everyone could be happy, thats all. But do people thought of my feelings? None, i can say! Just say what they like, THIS and THAT. My mood swings was like so freaking funny. In school i could smile like as if there's nothing happen, but when i reach home, the moment i step into my room i will start crying all over, i wish i can go out with anyone on earth, but again something is pulling me back i cant go out, i just feel like sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. Why? The something (i wish i could know whats that.) was just like telling, hey honey dont go out, out there isn't fun, continue sleeping that will be the best. I think that something is my heart and brain!!! They are suckers, they are controlling me, as if theres no freedom, and i cant even breathe. Or maybe this is the exam period? Well, i really dont know. Elvin once told me keep on smiling and the world will smile back to you, though i smiled but the light getting darker and darker, i am just hidding inside my blanket and room. Bring me out someone, will anyone be kind enough? Things doesn't seem like going the way i wanted. But well, i will remember what my brother had told me : "its yours definitely it will be, its not yours dont insist that is and let it go."I will stand very firm and so do my heart, i love him i will wait for him, nobody would be able to shake off this thought. Enough of my love life, i think i should keep some privacy too?